NewHeart......it sure sounds like you have learned a lot about yourself through studying the "Adult Child of Alcoholics" literature!
I am so glad that you were wiling to actually read it.
In my life, I have had several close friendhips with people who were raised in an alcoholic home---and I have always been impressed at how much pressure that they seem to place on themselves. And, sooo self-critical of themselves.
Personally, I think that every person who has been raised in an alcoholic home owes it to themselves to , at least, read the literature and material of the group
"Adult Children of Alcoholics". Actually joining a group would be wonderful, also.