Welcome Grange, glad you found us.
I experienced your situation, but with more turbulence through the years, periods of
sobriety then using etc. He didn't stop for good until he had lost a dear high school friend
to alcohol and his brother who died a miserable death waiting for a liver transplant.
Thats what it took for him, and his own kidneys starting to fail.
I strongly recommend alanon, it may take a few meetings to find one that feels right.
Reading the books mentioned here and literature about what alcoholism does to
families. In hindsight, knowing what I know now, I would not have stayed and exposed
myself to so much agony, watching him spiral down. He is healthy now, and continues
to be very active in AA. I will say that some things are not repairable, sadly.