Thank you all so much. I see a therapist weekly and go to group therapy weekly (for my BPD and Codependent behaviors). So that has been helpful already. Luckily I work in healthcare and have access to physicians and therapists as needed. Everyone is being so kind.
I just don't understand how he is OK with losing the one person in his life who kept the family functional and treated him so well. Why throw that away?
I asked him what I did wrong and what I could have done better and his answer was, "Nothing. This has nothing to do with you. I am just done. Done with everything and everyone."
Free bleeding is the perfect phrase. I feel like it is pouring out of me everywhere and I have no idea how to stop it. My whole world was our family and home. And it's just been pulled out from under me.
Really appreciate the support and love from you all.