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Old 06-01-2022, 09:42 AM
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ToughChoices
Yield beautiful changes
 
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,711
This is wise.

Accept that the present is unacceptable in the long-term, but manageable in the moment.

When/if that changes, change course.

I sent my XAH to rehab, haggled with insurance about rehab, begged him to stay in rehab, forced him to move out when he relapsed post-rehab, asked him to move back when he started legit recovery efforts, fought/screamed/cried/begged when he relapsed again and again, then moved out, filed for divorce, and finished my relationship with him on an emotional level.

That took about 2 years. I frequently felt like I was “supposed” to be doing more, but it takes time to develop those emotional muscles. You are “working out” 🏋️‍♀️ right now!
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