God as I Misunderstood Him
“Lack of power, that was our dilemma, we had to find a power by which we could live and it had to be a power greater than ourselves. Obviously, but where and how were we to find this power? Well that’s exactly what this book is about. It’s main object is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem, That means that we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. (A.A. World Services Inc (2013-12-02). Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition)
When I got sober this wasn't exactly good news. Given the way I'd been behaving while I was drunk, I wasn't sure I wanted God to have my new address. But you guys kept telling me that reliance on a higher power would keep me sober so I decided to give it a whirl.
But what to do about this praying stuff? There was this old timer and I remember him saying all the time “I believe in the efficacy of prayer”. And I needed to hear this because I didn't. He said that he asked God for help in the morning to stay sober and thanked Him at night. So I decided to try that. My early prayers were really quite awkward. “God I don't know if you're real, but those nice people in AA said if I ask you for help staying sober you'd give it. Here I am, I'm asking for help.”
It's been 32 years since I started asking for help and I haven't had a drink.