Originally Posted by MarkstheSpot

7 days today. Yay to me. The feeling right now is one of relief. Thinking you've lost your train ticket then finding it in your back pocket. Waking from a bad dream and realising it's not real. Thank God I'm not drinking.

Having been glued to the Deep v Heard trial I watched the film on which they met, The Rum Diary, over the weekend. I was struck by the gulf between the cool, romanticised version of alcoholism presented by Depp in the movie compared to the grim and brutal reality of the stories emerging from court.

Leading on from that, I think that in many ways the proceedings have happened at the right time for me in terms of reinforcing a commitment to change. Certainly I recognise many of Johnny's alkie behaviours as reported. The way he insists that some substances are 'okay' but not others. Like it's all right to drink Becks but not wine. The way he falls into a pit of despair after each outrage, promises to change but then doesn't. Hiding his drinks. 'Defiance' drinking. Being 'fun dad' with the kids then getting angry when he's pulled up on it. I'm thankful that anger has never been a part of my drunken repertoire but even so, lots of these behaviours produce a shiver of awful recognition.