You are doing really well just holding the line and not drinking.
Yes, I also felt both hopeless and exhausted (some days more, some days less) in early sobriety.
Your body has been through the wringer and alcohol sleep is typically not restful—you don’t get the deep cycles you need and usually start withdrawals while still trying to sleep. So please try to be patient with that.
Also, insomnia is not uncommon as the body keeps dumping stimulants in your bloodstream to compensate for the depressive alcohol effects—it also will pass as your body resets.
I second the suggestion to get Alcohol Explained (I like the Audiobook read by author) as it gives a lot of insight and hope into alcohol addiction. There is even a Facebook page for additional support which is quite positive and encouraging.
I also felt hopeless not just because of relapsing, but of facing the mess I made of my life while drinking. It was scary, but by just moving in baby steps and doing the next right thing, I was able to get things moving in the right direction faster than I expected, which helped lesson the hopeless feeling and gave me some positive energy.
You are doing a great job—just keep doing it
