Originally Posted by
Carlygiz 
Thank you all for being so welcoming & for giving me a safe place to verbalize things. I'm grateful to even be able to say these things out loud, esp to people who don't judge me.
Hi Carly, glad you found the forum! I also can't believe your therapist said that to you (I mean I can but!). As dandylion said, your therapist is probably not specifically trained in addiction, so doesn't truly understand it. It's a specialized area for a reason.
You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's).
His sobriety (or not) never has been your responsibility. If your attention and loyalty could have had him stop the drinking and drugging - well I suspect he would have been sober these last 28 years. It just doesn't work that way. This is totally up to him.
You can file those papers for sure. If by some magic he does manage to get clean AND (and this is the most important part) YOU are still interested, well perhaps you can start dating. Really the power of this decision is with you. This is your chance to make a break and start pursuing your own peaceful, calm life. Taking good care of yourself. That's not selfish, that's looking out for yourself and your wellbeing (and that of your children) is just as important as his.
Maybe let him try his own path?