Welcome tgregory, sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I have been there and it does get better. When I first got sober I heard others say it gets better and just felt like that was so corny/not possible/not true for me. I’m thrilled to tell you I was wrong. I’m not sure what your drug of choice is (mine was alcohol) but I really found that connection was the key to help me get out of the continuous day 1 cycle. I didn’t go to any facilities so looked for free resources. I joined a class here and posted everyday. I also started attending AA meetings online which was so helpful to hear other people going through the same thing and feeling the same way I did. The meetings in those first few terrible weeks were paramount in getting me to stop drinking. I eventually found a home at recovery dharma and I attend meetings online fairly regularly and I still post here. I also read a ton. We are the Luckiest and this naked mind were 2 of my favorites. I listen to recovery elevator and this naked mind podcasts on the regular too.
You can do this a better life is waiting for you with open arms! Keep posting and reading others posts!