Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Yes, there is no way for you to tell really, especially since he was obviously hiding the extent of his drinking. Going forward you will have extra information now, with the people you meet. You will see signs that you didn't see before.
Although one missed date for an incredibly good reason (stuck in a snow bank) is ok, otherwise, not ok. You can date an alcoholic, many do, many marry them, but this is how it is. You will always be secondary to the alcohol, no question.
You mentioned you have been in not-great relationships before. I know it's hard, especially initially, to sometimes spot what is up with some people, especially if they are on their best behaviour to start with (or hiding!). Is the new behaviour just a glitch or have they let their defenses down? But, that's what dating is about, getting to know someone well enough to know that. When you know, you can decide if the relationship is right for you (not for him, for you).
So true. I had done a lot of therapy and understood the red flags of previous exs who had been no good for me, though without alcohol issues....and well this guy was different. No red flags. Kind, normal, nice. Until he wasn't obviously. Even the missed dates (and then no contact for 6 days which I spent worried sick) just got a "sorry", new business stress etc, he didn't seem to understand how hard or selfish it was to do that. I put everything from the last month down to the stress of a new job as he was telling me it was the problem, little did I know it was just the timing of him showing his true colours.