Originally Posted by
Hen1 
Thank you all SO much the advice here is just excellent.
I guess I miss him, quite a lot, and I'm worried for him, especially cos now I realise his problems are way bigger than I previously realised. And also also hurts, as affects thr self esteem, to think he doesn't miss me or care much at all
It really is a mistake to think about him caring about you or missing you, he doesn't have the capacity for that. You can't apply "normal" relationship/feeling/caring things to a person in active addiction. Well you can, but it's not accurate.
Please read this thread a few times, maybe come back and read it again in a few hours too. It's not about you. In a "normal" relationship, romantic or even friends or family, when two people part, whether that's a break up or one moves to another country - they miss the person. Remember, he is thinking about drinking, you can't fit in to that. Relationships take time and energy and thoughtfulness and all those things he can't do right now.
If you think he is caring about others (friends, family) he's not doing that either!
He was an alcoholic before you met him, he will be fine in his own way, he will just be doing, again, what he was doing before he met you (drinking), so no real gain to be made by worrying about him, he's a grown man, he will do what he will do, you know what I mean?