Struggling and tempted
Nearly 50 days sober! I’ve been feeling really good, but I somehow managed to hurt myself doing laundry this weekend. My low back and sciatic nerve on my right side are killing me, and I’m surprised by how much the physical pain is affecting my mental health.
Today I feel overwhelmed and anxious. I’m afraid that the pain won’t go away. I can’t sleep. It hurts to sit/lay/walk/stand, and my addict brain is screaming for relief. My addiction requires that I abstain from pain medication and alcohol, and this is honestly the first time my resolve has been really tested. If I had
medication, I know I would take it. Yuck. That doesn’t sound strong at all.
But I don’t have medication, so, weak as I am, I’m not using. My sweet husband keeps telling me to go to the doctor, but I don’t think I could say no if they offered me pain meds. It’s hard to explain to him how tricky my addicted brain can be! I know that the folks here will understand, though. This is rough.
Tell me it gets better?!?