Communication/boundaries
Hi Everyone!
I need some guidance. I'm wondering about the boundaries I'm setting with an increasingly active alcoholic. Is it helpful for him? I know it is for me. I don't want to communicate or be around him if he's drinking or hungover. He respects the no communication or getting together when he's drunk.
The first relapse he worked hard to convince me to move in with him ( I wouldn't). I didn't recognize he was drunk (we don't live in the same town) and it was awful the arguments we got into on the phone. I learned quickly to recognize his drunk voice and discussion topics. I let him know I wouldn't talk with him or see him if he was drunk.
When we first met and started dating he was sober and working consistently on his program. He moved away from AA because he said he felt it was depressing hearing the same stories over and over. There were a few slips but he was able to stay sober for weeks.. He's been binging lately. Three days last week and he's starting again this week.
I miss him. I'm not sure anymore about whether setting boundaries is helping because it doesn't seem to deter him? Any support or thoughts is greatly appreciated - nb