Still Traumtized to this day
Hi, my name is Michael, I'm 20 years old (I'll be 21 in Aug.), still currently attend school (special ed) and I have a long story to tell, so I'm going to break it down to note/bulletin form and a few posts to make it easy for you. If possible, I hope I can get support, and possibly advice (not professional-wise, but sympathize with me, but advice would be appreciated). I don't have much freinds in my life. ( Only a few freinds.)
And please know that I did not know about this type of bullying ( I was like 15-16 when this happened ) And the only type of bullying I knew is when someone would just call you a name and talk junk to you, but not this sneaky sugar coated type of bullying.
Here goes:
Effects of the events and what the abuser did to me:
Inability to trust others and go out to introduce myself to people (People who I thought were my freinds talked behind my back in a negative way thinking I didn't hear them. )
Currently lazy and don't have a job (but I will work on that.)
Not open with anyone about my drawing talents
Made me see school in a negative light
Feelings of guilt and ashamed of myself for not saying or doing anything.
Anxiety Attacks
Sometimes I skip school because it brings back bad memories (I've been in there since 1997 and my main abuser came in 2001.)
If people criticize me now, I take it personally.
Anger and Resentment towards my abuser and school (my home school )
Sometimes thoughts of revenge on all those who hurt me
The abuser(s): Mr. G ( Male Vocational Teacher ) (in charge of a computer program), AB (caucasian girl), and few others.
She's not a bully, but just an annoying person from that time, Ms. W (Assistant teacher in acedemics in the afternoon after I would go from Mr. G's class in the morning.)
Where: My High School
When: September of 2001 to June 2004