Welcome Stacey,
You did just fine with your post.
You are dealing with a cunning, insidious disease. It can destroy relationships and marriages as well as the alcoholic.
Please make yourself at home. Read all the stickies at the top of this forum. You are not alone unless you choose to be. We understand as few others can.
Keep posting. Try some al-anon meetings. At least 6 before you decide whether they are for you. Your boys need one healthy parent.
Love and prayers from one who cares.