Originally Posted by
NewHeart 
ironwill. I struggle with feelings of well he has PTSD, he had a poor upbringing. He didn’t truly understand and instead of pushing him away I should have connected the dots for him. He didn’t mean to use me so I should have put in an effort to show him his poor behavior and have a chance to fix it instead of ending it.
Regardless of what our formative experiences have been, regardless of what our wounding is, we each have some personal responsibility to behave in an accountable way. In most relationships, it is acceptable to speak up and say "I feel hurt when this behavior happens." But especially in relationships touched by substance abuse and codependency, each additional chance you offer opens the door that much further for continued excursions past your boundaries.
Remember the three Cs: you didn't Cause it, you can't Control it, you can't Cure (Change) it