Hi Stacey, good for you coming here and looking for help, your in the right place.
My husband has been in recovery for 13 months. I remember when he went in and I thought when he got home all would be PERFECT, our life would be great, was I wrong. You said he has been sober 60 days, I remember those days. Talk about a roller coaster ride, for both of us.
I describe it this way, my husband got DRY December 2004, he got a little bit sober in March of 2005 and his sobriety really kicked in in Sept. 2005. That is 9 long months. Since Sept. I have seen nothing but growth. Are there still struggles in our marriage, you bet. Are we able to handle them better now, YOU BET.
I guess my first question is are you attending Al anon? If not, you should seek out a group or two and begin attending on a regular basis. It will help you better understand what your husband is going through and how you can deal with things to make things easier for you and how to take care of yourself. It is really important. I can honestly say without Al anon and SR my marriage would not be intact today, it was a very important part of our marriage recovery.
Give it time, as time will heal. If you go read my threads from a year ago, you will see that I was in the same place you are, hurt, confused and very scared. Today because of hard work learning to take care of me and understanding the disease and how recovery from the disease works and what to expect, I am getting healthy and growing within myself minute by minute.
I was told not to make any major decisions about my marriage for one year after he got out of recovery. I thought that was crazy. I knew I was wasting a year of my life. My year will end this Sunday. If you would have ask me six months ago if I was going to remain in the marriage after the year I would have said I doubted it. What do I say today with my "deadline" looming, will I stay in the marriage, YOU BET! I will stay and continue to grow and watch my husband grow. I can change my mind at anytime and that freedom gives me comfort.
Give it more time honey, it sounds like he is trying. Understand this is just as difficult for him, he is confused, hurt, and very afraid, he feels guilt and shame and he is working through all this within himself, just give him time and I bet in time you will start to see the growth if he continues working a program.
In the meantime, take care of yourself and those two beautiful children. Make your life as good as possible and theirs too. Let your hubby have his time, and you take your time. The love will come back, just focus on you and take care of you, the rest will come.
Good Luck and God Bless, I know the road you are traveling is a hard one, but it is worth the trip!!