To be honest when I started to read your post and you said:
He really asked some deep questions wanting to know me. I felt some fear and reluctance opening up so quickly but decided to overcome the fear. We hung out all the time and when he was on work trips talked all the time.
I thought manipulation. Now, the above, as you know, is not always a bad thing, someone who is genuinely interested in someone is really nice. But you felt fear about it and brushed that aside. There is a reason you had that feeling. When you are not comfortable - stop. Whether that is negotiating on a car or dealing with a person - that gives you time to step back and really analyze why you feel that way.
We all feel uncomfortable and anxious sometimes, some people get anxious in crowds and hate the grocery store! They choose to ignore it because they - need food! That's a good - fear - but do it anyway - choice.
Unfortunately, you can't fix him. That disassociation is real, for whatever reason. It's horrible! I'm so sorry you got hurt here. I am really glad you decided to cut contact there though.
You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it.
There is nothing wrong with you either, you are worthy.