Originally Posted by advbike;[url=tel:7777053
7777053[/url]]I'm a guy and I think he was using you. I'm really sorry to say that, but the tactic of always being too busy (except for sex) sounds like typical alpha male manipulation. Quite honestly I did that when I was much younger and in a very demanding job, and am very ashamed of those behaviors now. Reaching out to him more would have just made it worse. You handled it very well. You had nothing to do with this except you naturally (and honestly) started to get close and want more and he ran the other way because that's not what he wanted. When he said he wanted to remain friends he most assuredly meant "with benefits".
thank you very much for this. I keep on thinking I was being dumb but I was being natural and honest. His behavior was the shameful one not mine.
and yes I do think he wanted to remain friends with benefits. It’s why it hurt so much because my emotional life with him was centered on love and his was sex.
he was very skilled in having long conversations for weeks with me first and talking about a future and emotional intelligence. But it was all predatory behavior