Update and needing some advice from you all
I had started dating again and met a man I fell hard for. I had done some light dating and would usually screen people out after a few days or weeks of dating. I found I hate online dating and was taking a break from any sort of dating when I met David.
We had instant chemistry, a lot of the same interests and talked for hours each day phone calling and texting. He really asked some deep questions wanting to know me. I felt some fear and reluctance opening up so quickly but decided to overcome the fear. We hung out all the time and when he was on work trips talked all the time.
He is an Afghanistan veteran and I noticed a bit of an adrenaline junkie always getting injured during extreme sports, pushing himself through injuries and wanting to do more extreme sports like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute and hooking onto someone else's. This worried me and I told him I wanted to support his interests bit that I wanted a future with him. He said he understood and he saw me as wife material.
I also was worried about his workaholic attitude. He worked 12 to 16 hours a day and 60 to 80 hours a week. He says they are just very busy because his work involves cyber security and they are ramping up due to the situation in Ukraine. But even his boss was asking if he was ok and told him to go home. We went out to eat and all he talked about was that he should have still been in the office. He says he wants to ramp down and have a life outside of work but he kept on working overtime,
2 months in to dating we hang out and he talks a bit about his time in Afghanistan. He seemed ok but a little teary. suddenly goes cold , turns to me and says that Im a single woman. I was shocked and flustered. I just said that I wasnt that I was with him. He later was irritated with me and got cold and angrily asked why I do things I dont want to do. I was shocked as I have never told him that I do things I dont want to do. I felt like he was talking about himself
From that moment on he was extremely cold towards me. Even my parents noticed when he came to meet them even though he bought flowers and everything. He stopped kissing me. He kept making excuses that he had to work wheras before he told me talking to him waa a destress.
I confronted him and told him that he had gone cold on me. He said that he couldnt decide what he wanted and was conflicted between work opportunities and me. I told him it was over
He asked if we could hang out and be friends. That hurt me the worst after we had both said that we loved each other. I told him no.
But Im heartbroken and I keep on thinking about how to fix it. I never had conversations like that with someone and I wonder how someone can go from 100 percent in pushing the relationship forward to actively avoiding me. I feel I have whiplash and I know my co dependency is being activated heavily.
I want to go back to him and fix it but I know that is going to get me tangled in something I dont want anymore. I also feel incredibly stupid and played. My heart is so tired