Thank you so much for your replies, your words truly mean a lot and it’s good to not feel alone. None of my friends or family really understand any of what I’m going thru.
I’m so afraid that going no-contact will set him off and cause even more chaos, but I also cannot continue like this. I have to get off this roller coaster, for myself and for my daughter. I’ve been reading posts for the past few months and have memorized the 3 C’s. For a while, I thought I could help him but I’m starting to understand that there’s nothing I can do. It’s so so so hard to accept that. It’s a truly awful feeling watching someone you love and your future sink into an abyss and not being able to stop it.