If it took the double dose of disrespect to really look at it, well that's good then, his "meat pie" accomplished something in your favour. Who describes the menu, he obviously wanted to hit your buttons, rather mean thing to do, but so be it, that's him.
It can be normalized, there can be excuses made over the years but you've had this experience now. You will be on alert for any drinking. He may lose interest in visitation at some point, especially now that boundary has been made.
In no way was it too harsh (not even a tiny bit).