Originally Posted by
Pielove 
The focus on reconnecting sou ds lile the assumption that I was unhealthy or coda. I have my own life and friends and do my own things all the time. Nothing took the back burner for a relationship. I dont have anxiety qttachment
I found the responses here quite assumption and attacking and little empathy.
I dont know if its because you all are suffering but found this forum useless other than the 3cs mentioned. Thank you. I do know it wasnt me. Just felt crazy cuz I deserve some communication.
it occured we are still together and I support him.
I didnt give anything up to support him. Dosnt take anything to show love.
Super easy to run away and cave into qbandonment attachment but if anyone of you went to cbt youde know isolating and running never helps long term trauma.
Perhaps alanon and detachment subject is something you should alll revisit.
Thanks
Hi Pielove.. I am sorry you felt this way. I think what everyone on here meant is that if he is an alcoholic and drinking and asked for space the kindest thing to do is to give that space to him. Your will is not necessarily his will if that makes sense. I used to think that I knew best for my exAH but the truth is he needed to go on his own path... He only was resentful of me inserting what I viewed as love and help at the time. It only put pressure on him to do better and be better when he didn't want to. I also recently ( 4 days ago) went through a miscarriage. I have been really to myself about it cause it is where I need to be. My friends and family in their good nature have shown up and dropped off flowers and candles at my door. I love the support however I have a friend who keeps checking in on me 2 times a day, she actually texted me if she could stop by... I didn't return the text because I was taking a nap and then I went to get in the bath and I heard someone knocking at my door... I just stayed in the bath... She had left flowers at my doorstep and while I get that she thinks I need company and she is acting from her perception... the truth is for me to process I need to me alone and don't need to show up for anyone but myself right now. I am telling you this so that you can see it in the light of maybe your boyfriend just needs the breathe...maybe he doesn't want to be helped at the moment... each day changes and I wish you the best. I think the people on here a very good hearted and have the best of intentions