Wow, Kaya you did it good job, its almost first time post I see came from you not missing him and you are totally seem get over hom .... B/c before your posts always showed how you suffered b/c of his absence.
I had no contact with fulltime since May 30, but mine is totally different than yours, but every time I read your post I always feel I read my own post and complains. Same men and same women, same complains....... yikes.
Good job Kaya, you are finally over him. You are still so young and bright future is ahead of you.
Originally Posted by
LovelyKaya33333 
A list helped me. I wrote down a clear list of everything is drinking did to our family. I wrote the moments. When I wrote them It was more of a bullet point list... I wanted to keep emotion out of it ... I did this because at the time I didn't trust my emotions anymore. I had been told I was too needy and too much by him. At the time I believed him... 7 months without him and the clarity is amazing. I know now that wad never the reality.... I was reacting in normal ways to crazy making behavior by him... Infact I think I was actually under reacting so I didn't rock the boat but I know now the boat was going to sway no matter what because his emotions changed with the wind depending on his drinking that day...anyhow I wrote the list at the time from a brass tax point of view and that helped...This was part of my list... I realized that this just scratched the surface and didn't even include the daily **** show of his drinking
1. You drank a bottle of vodka most days
2. You told me on several occasions our entire relationship you were in love with Wendy ( this was all the way up until the very last year we were together) and then you wondered why I felt weird about you talking to her.3. You never had plans for the kids when they came out. You just kinda expected me to go into the role of parenting with them without any conversation from you
4. You drank and drove all the time. Once resulting in a hit and run that totaled your truck
5. You stole alcohol on several occasions. Ex) A bride and grooms house I was doing a weddding for house and from the house we were looking at buying in TN with our realtor there
6. You did and said things while drunk that a marriage could withstand maybe a handful of hits on but you did them at least a handful of times per month. you even stopped caring or apologizing for them.
7. You would build me up to just discard me. like you just did. to get some level of satisfaction from it?
8. After we broke up and got back together and I came clean about being intimate with Josh while we were broken up you literally told me all you did was go on a few first dates with girls... you lied to me about the girl in Texas you had a full blown relationship with... but that wasn't enough you got drunk and decided to tell me allll about it... and not in a kind way either. You went into detail about it. I was begging you to stop and you just kept going. I was crying so much I started throwing up and you even followed me into the bathroom and kept saying it as I was puking... then you said nevermind the next day that you loved me...
Writing lists helps everything come to the surface