Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Yes the "other stuff" can fade off in to the background when the huge thing that alcoholism is at the forefront. Other problems in the relationship for sure but also things in your own life you might want to change or attend to (friendships, work). You might even be in a job you want to change but who's got time for that when all your emotional energy is focused on a dysfunctional relationship!
I can see you are having such clarity about all this right now. That will continue and good for you!
I was mad at myself for talking on the phone with him for that long but there were lessons in that convo. Another thing that I realized, we had a pregnancy scare, he wanted me to abort, he’d say it was for my health etc, but then when I told him my drs said it’s healthy for me to carry the baby, he changed his tune. It was then mean texts of “ You were right a kid shouldn’t be part of an alcoholic household, I want to sign over my rights” I then explained to him that’s not how it works. He just kept on how he wasn’t a good man and he wouldn’t be a good father, and in my codependent voice I reassured him he was great ugh !! Every situation was a manipulation didn’t matter what it was. So when I was finally like okay he doesn’t want any part, I had called him and said, that’s fine. He switched on me that now he’d want to be part of the kids life. And his only reason why he said that was because he thought I didn’t want him there. He said, “ I think WE both could of handled it better “ Never any personal responsibility. I was starting to realize this would be my life. With all his health issues already from his alcoholism, I’d be taking care of him before too long and he’s not even close to sobriety.
I appreciate you guys because it’s only been 3 weeks and I’m feeling a lot better .