Hi Constant... My exAH did not get sober either which is why we are divorced now. I can understand you feelings are hurt ...however, I think that the lack of interest in your birthday this year is because he has to be so focused on himself right now... especially only 3 months in. Also while people are finding themselves in sobriety they can, usually do change and especially while they are finding their footing can not be as enthusiastic about things. I would let the first 6months to a year slide... I know it sounds selfish on his end but it is because alcoholism is a very selfish disease and under that person works a full recovery program they are typically in a selfish space. I am not discounting your birthday... Happy birthday by the way
Just maybe in the begining of his program show a ton of grace for expectations on him... Maybe have a late birthday dinner set up with a friend for next week or something ... I also look at it this way from hindsight... Now granted this is after a 7 year relationship ( 5 of which were married ) and for me had my boyfriend worked a program and got sober before we got married it would have been the best birthday present I could ever ask for... You now how a partner that is growing with you and at the end of all this ( and from what you say he is in it to win it ) you could have a wonderful lifelong HEALTHY relationship... Most of us on here would have traded a birthday any day if it meant keeping our significant others in our life and having them want sobriety ... not discounting you but maybe (just for this year) look for other ways to celebrate for you... Buy something you have been dying to buy... get your hair done ect
Sending you love