Thank you for all the good advice, I have read every reply thoroughly.
I know what you are all saying.
Yes, I have to go through it. The other Christmases I drank through them. This year the feelings are here and they are horrible.
And all tangled up with each other.
I will have to sort things out in me.
Or just sit with them until they burn themselves out. Which they won't if I just keep adding fuel to the fire
And I agree, it will all end with a drink if I keep this up. And that's not what I want.
I am very grateful to everyone who has replied. At least I can come here and have people that understand. And give advice because they have been here.
Thanks again 🙂
I am on the last day of the course today. So will be extra vigilant against my Beast tonight because I know it will be "well you have nothing on tomorrow, why not?" When there are 1000 reasons why not!