Hello everyone. I'm also going to be using this as a sort of personal journal just to get some thoughts down from time to time I think.
I got an update actually. She unblocked me on Monday morning and one of the texts I sent way earlier went through. I just said I wish her the best and she shared the same sentiment with me. I asked her what happened with us and she said she is in a rough place mentally and that I was always supportive and understanding and she told me that there was nothing I could have done to change what happened. She said she still cares for me and wants what's best for me and that being with her right now would not be that. She also said that she really needs to focus on herself right now and her sobriety and that she can't put effort into a relationship right now when she is working on herself with something this severe. Maybe I shouldn't have but I asked her if this means she and I are done for good and she told me that she just can't answer that right now, that she doesn't know where she will be after all of this. She unblocked me out of her feeling guilty and she said after all I've done for her that I didn't deserve that. I made sure to tell her that I still care about her and I do want the best for her. I know I probably shouldn't have said this but I told her I can wait for her. I was just running off of pure emotions at I was not expecting to talk to her again so soon, I'm sure I shouldn't have said that but I did, after all she was also my best friend for like 7 years. She told me that she wouldn't ask me to wait as she doesn't want to set me up for failure but in my emotional state I just doubled down on what I said. It ended with me telling her no matter what I will always want the best for her and then we had some light hearted conversation and she said she will talk to me when she wants to again, even if its just to send a meme or something light to kill some time. As of now I'm still not blocked. Also as far as a relationship in rehab goes she is in a woman only rehab house.
I know things aren't perfect at all but it does seem like she isn't being toxic like some other posts I've seen.
I'm not sure how I handled it and stuff but I was running off of nothing but emotions as everything is still so new.