Camabelle......the local dv oeganization is NOT a government agency. They operate completely seperate from "the system" that you are referring to. Actually, most people do assume that it is part of the government and are afraid to contact them. That is unfortunate---and I would like to dispell that false assumption---and dispell you fears on that point.
Everything is held under strict confidence. In fact, you do not even have to give your actual name (if you don't choose to! You don't have to name your husband or give any other identifying info about yourself.
In my professional career, in the past, I have had patients who were badly injured by their partners, and I contacted the local dv shelter to help the patient(s). They were able to get the hospital to admit the patients under a false name, in order to keep the partner from finding them.
The local dv organizations (sometimes called "shelters")...operate completely outside of the government.
Please don't let the title scare you. Think of them as knowlegable and compasionate people who exist only to help you. It is such a shame that so many people pass up so much source of help just because they misunderstand and are afraid.
Another point----a court advocate and the dv organization are two seperate things. (I believe what sage is referring to as "dv advocate").
The court advocate is a person who helps give you support and explain things as you jump through whatever court hoops that you are navigating. lol...they sort of hold your hand and give you court proceedings support., when you don't understand or are afraid.
The domestic violence organizations are private sector and have a great variety of resorces to help you deal with this difficult time in your life.
My suggestion----First, call your local dv organization (you don't have to give your actual name) and tell them, briefly, your situation (they will be very understanding and compassionate). Ask them for a referral or the names of an experienced lawyer who works with cases of your type. They will KNOW who the best ones to work with your kind of case are!
You will not have to ever see the dv workers, in person, if you don't want to.
2. After you get the name of the good lawyer....contact that lawyer and present your situation to that lawyer. (take your list of questions that you want to ask with you...lol).
If you feel comfortable working with that lawyer,.....they will be able to direct you how to proceed.
It is sooo essential that you geet a good system of support together ----since you have no friends or family that you can rely on. You need 1. local dv organization workers 2. Good lawyer 3. court advocate 4. personal counselor (the dv workers can get you the counselor) 5. SR Mother (and father) Hens....lol.
You are gong through a very difficult and scary time. I can tell you with the utmost confidence that getting the most help makes it much, much easier.