dear carol, thanks for replying. how did you ever get by these 10 years not knowing about your son? that's what i fear most - his going away and my never hearing from him again. not knowing if he's dead or alive. i don't know how i'd deal with that heartache. perhaps the years make you stronger. you are truly a miracle to have survived thru all of your ordeals. as for al-anon, it will be hard for me for i work at night, but i will try to find somewhere. perhaps if i have off on a wednesday i can look up the place you are talking about.
my son's last ordeal surfaced last thursday. haven't heard from him since friday morning when i told him he had to leave my house - he wasn't welcome here anymore. this is his pattern when he goes on one of his binges. as long as his money holds out he will drink and probably stay at a motel. it's when the money runs out that i have to think about next. that's usually when i hear from him. i guess i'm scared that scenario may well change and i won't hear from him at all.
it's really insane to continue time after time. that's exactly what it is - insanity.
your troubles led you to drink - i'm the exact opposite - i despise alcohol.
i will pray for you and your children - especially your son, that he is safe.
i went to church this morning and it really felt good to be there. i have great support from my church - they know the problems we are dealing with.
it's funny tho - everyone says, "let me know if there is anything i can do". if only it were that simple!!!!!
love and prayers to you carol (neighbor).
jane