I find that once I say “I can’t drink anymore,” that’s usually the end of it. People don’t care nearly as much as I thought they would.
Now if we’re talking events that *revolve* around heavy drinking (where getting drunk is “the point”), I tend to avoid them now. I’ve skipped outright whiskey tastings or bourbon nights — but I’ll host events with the same groups of people focused on food (fish fries or smoking food/watching a game), campfires, cigars by the lake, yard games. I’m usually doing all the cooking which I enjoy.
All the fun, none of the hangover or withdrawals.
My advice is don’t overthink it. You may be surprised to find that people don’t care that much (and if they do, it’s probably because of insecurities around their own levels of drinking). The only people who were really upset about my not drinking anymore had serious drinking problems themselves; can’t concern yourself with other people’s raging AVs. I don’t listen to my own anymore, I’m not gonna hear from someone else’s
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Hope it goes well!!