I thought a lot about what you wrote last night Patcha. I don't know about you, but by the time I got here for the last time, I felt like I had fought a 25 year long war with myself. That alone had me exhausted for probably the first 18 months I was here.
Maybe you just need to take it easy for awhile and put you first in making sure your doing everything you can to feel better. An like FMN said, do something nice for yourself everyday. We are our own worst enemies. Nobody can kick our a$$ worse than we can.
Maybe let your doctor know that you're feelin a bit under the weather emotionally and maybe they can give you some more direction. Maybe some one on one therapy once a week might help you. Honestly, I don't know where I would be with out it.
Somewhere along the way we lost the ability to process our feelings properly and we stopped growing emotionally. Most of us need help in figuring out how to do that again. I know I sure as hell did.
I hope that helps you.
be well.