It took me a full year of sobriety to heal the damage I had done to my brain by abusing alcohol. I couldn't find joy until that part of my brain fired back up again. Those questions you asked are ones no one can answer for you. I think most people, addict or not, have stood in front of yet another hill they have to climb and thought "not again.". We climb tho. Lots of people right next to you climbing away.