The fact you feel 'real heart' this time is good.
I felt that this time round, like me being sober, me not drinking was real, like almost hyper real because I hadn't ever felt the possibility of being free from addiction before. Anyway it is a good feeling, scary at times, but solid and something you can build on. Well done on your recovery from a relapse, it's hard to do so you should feel proud!
Quiet weekend here binging on Netflix series and eating toast.