I found myself in similar situation AK. Came
very close to drinking at nearly 2 years. Major stress the cause. I really hope you don't act on the urge AK. Resist with all of your might. It passes.
I can't tell you the relief felt when making it out alive
It has made me so much stronger. You will find the same, irrespective of whatever life deals. Hold the winning hand AK. Please don't drink.