Originally Posted by Vinificent

It’s been many 24 hours since I checked in. Happy to see familiar handles and trying to catch up 🤗

For whatever reason, I let the pandemic change my sobriety plan. At first I logged into the AA virtual meetings and still dropped in here, but eventually was doing none of it. The more I ponder it, I realize it was my type A, impatient personality rearing it’s ugly head. There were many people having to adapt to technology who somehow managed to avoid it until they were forced to use it. A better person would have embraced the opportunity to help and teach, but I quickly grew frustrated with muted mics and slow connections…it all became too much static, and I avoided virtual social interactions unless forced to join work meetings. Then by the time AA started meeting in person again, I tried going back but felt disconnected, like going back to your old school and feeling like you are just not that person anymore.

And then I slipped. Yep - just walked into a package store, purchased a box of wine, and proceeded to drink the entire box over a 24 hour period. I had convinced myself that I was no longer an alcoholic and would buy this box of wine and use it only for cooking or an occasional glass when I wanted to unwind. Yeah OK - that lasted a hot minute, and after the first glass I was determined to drink the entire contents. That was 3 days ago, and this is the first I am admitting it to anyone. My husband and daughter both suspected something was off with me and I have not told them that they were right. The last 24 hours have been brutal as my body was detoxing. The good news is this experience fiercely renewed my memories of pain, anxiety, and self hatred, and once again determined to not feel that way again.

Sorry to be so long winded and thank you for reading this much into it 🙏

Bottom line, I am grateful for every hour of the past 24 that I did not drink, and I am here asking for 24 more. Please and thank you ❤️