Originally Posted by
2muchpain 
I used to feel I had to do things perfectly at work. No room for mistakes. How others' viewed me was a reflection on my self worth. I had to work harder, work out harder, etc. Anything less than that was inexcusable. All that did was make my life miserable. And all that did was lead from one binge to another to forget how inadequate I was. Now that I'm older and have paid some big prices for this kind of thinking, I'm more comfortable with me just being me. It took me a long time to get to this point, but I have a much healthier life. John
I was the same way at work and, to a lessor degree, in my personal life. Always worried what others thought of me. I'd bite my tongue if I had an opinion and I'd say "yes" to everything. Beginning a couple of years ago I started to say "no" and I also, while I try to be a reasonable and understanding person at all times, I increasingly just don't give a whit (clean word!) what people think of me. It's confidence. One can be gentle and kind but also be strong at the same time.