There was a time alcohol worked for me. I was in a pretty bad place before I began drinking alcoholically. For better or worse I made those decisions based on the given information my brain had at the time. Mistakes were made, life isn't fair. We've made mistakes, we've learned, until we took our last drink maybe we hadn't learned as much as we had thought. Even if we never drink again we still haven't learned everything and we still will make mistakes. Its a matter of how we deal with the mistakes, and the good fortune as well.
We learn we move foward. At my age a lot of life has gotten away from me. I got a lot out of your post. Sometimes I think about my age and the things I have missed out on and it makes me absolutely sick. I quickly brush away the good things in my life I should be grateful for sometimes.
I don't want to get caught up in the never drink again. I just don't want to drink today and I really don't care if alcohol just dried up and went away and nobody ever made it or wanted to drink it again. Right now I just want to do the next right thing. The rest of my life is the situation I have right now. I can't change how I got here. I want to make the best I can of every next day.