So my wife found a man who is supposed to be the husband of her “AA” sponsor. She didn’t talk to the woman who was supposed to be the “sponsor”, but instead all conversation went directly to the man. We’d catch her talking to him when her Bluetooth would kick in as we drove in the driveway, texting him all hours of the day, I have voicemails with him calling to tell her he’s setting up divorce consultations with an attorney for her, he’ll send his “on call” therapist to our house to get my daughter the minute she calls him and let’s him know my daughter is “in distress”, he even touts his ability to make a great Singapore Sling, offers to be her bartender, and says “if you drink only drink with me”. What a great guy. I rue the day I picked my wife off the floor at 5 AM and drove her to her first AA meeting. I guess it shows you that addicts/alcoholics will find the worst or the worst out there if they can and want to. I put her in a treatment program almost 4 months ago and she hasn’t talked to me since. Probably talking to her AA savior still.
personally, I see no hope going forward with this woman. I think your situation is telling of the same pattern, and my heart goes out to you!!!!