DriGuy

Yes, I remember having that fear while my cravings were raging before I quit. It's easy to think at that stage that the insanity of fighting not to drink is going to be permanent.

That is exactly right. It becomes a way of life, but no longer a battle. You evolve so that you stop fighting and summoning superhuman will power and just start paying attention to what keeps you sober. It's about as easy as learning to be polite to people.

For some odd reason, accepting that sobriety was forever, made an immediate difference in my attitude toward full recovery. You would think "forever" makes it harder, but it doesn't. It made it easier. I think it's part of the "admitting we were powerless over alcohol" phase of recovery, which is true for everyone, whether you are in AA or not.

This admitting to ourselves that we can't drink, is something that is a matter of degree, and it doesn't help much unless you admit it fully. Once you accept it for real and that is for the rest of your life, you are fully admitting and ready to make that necessary commitment. Then for me, things got a whole lot easier.

Congratulations on having this insight. And it is as worthy of applause as getting one year under your belt, maybe even more so, because without it, your chances of making it to a year go way down, and therefore the chances for the rest of your life.

One extra pedantic observation: We are not powerless over alcohol, not after we stop drinking and commit. We are only powerless after the first drink. Don't take that first drink, and each one of us remains the master of our own destiny. One of my first gratitudes is for the power I have over my alcoholism. I am no longer under the thumb of alcohol.