Contella09

Hello everyone. This is day 3 of my 3rd serious attempt at maintaining sobriety.
I realized one day not so long ago that my drinking was no longer safe, I have crossed the line of ever being able to drink responsibly. I have proved that to myself time and time again. I cannot moderate. One drink leads to the drink wanting to drink whether I want that or not. I am no longer in control. It is progressive and my tolerance hit a scary level each time. As the saying goes... "The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink and then the drink takes the man."

I am not sure if anyone has heard of Church on The Street? I encourage people to please look them up online. They started outside of a McDonald's during lockdown. I live in Burnley England where they started. I am lucky that they are only down the road from me and when I called yesterday I was able to talk to the man who started it. He spent a good amount of time on the phone with me. Inspire never contacted me back so I am very grateful to him for giving me his time and offering that face to face help.

He said something to me that really hit home and really encouraged me. I was in the mindset that this was going to be a lifetime battle and I will have to work hard at sobriety for the rest of my life. It has been daunting to me to be honest. What he said lifted that weight off my shoulders and it made a lot of sense. It also showed me why this forum is so important and is so successful for so many people. Whether a day sober or a decade sober. This is what he said when I told him I knew I would need to work hard for the rest of my life at sobriety. "It won't be hard work for the rest of your life. Sobriety becomes a way of life. It stops becoming hard. I need you just as much as you need me. Helping others keeps me sober and I can help keep you sober. There are many people who have done it and and here to help show you the way to do it. As long as you do the things to work through it it is possible." He has been very open about his life and sharing his story too from being in the grips of addiction to becoming an absolute inspiration to many. Anything is possible.

I have accepted and I surrender and I am in this for the long haul. I have a future ahead of me and a choice to make that a good one. I am far from being completely educated on my illness and dependance on alcohol but I am learning a little more each day and everything I learn helps give me a little more strength and determination. Hopefully one day I will know enough to really help others too.

He also said that some people can just stop from willpower alone but for people like us that have crossed that line we need that help. We know deep down that our willpower alone is not enough and that is why we reach out. All of us on this forum are at different stages of recovery but everyone on here share one massive thing in common. It is addiction. We are not alone and reading other people's stories make me realize just how similar we are when in active addiction. How it makes us feel and behave while drunk or coming out of that dispair when we stop.

I hope I haven't droned on too much. I want to be an active member on this forum as it has been helping me to get quite a few sober days that I never achieved on my own.

I hope everyone is well. Never give up trying.