Ripples of Sobriety
That cliche about the ripple effect is a cliche because it can come true, and I believe that once sobriety takes hold in a family it's especially true.
My AH has been a lifelong alcoholic, except for 4 years in the early 2000s. He got to the point where he was diagnosed with advanced cirrhosis, was getting regular paracentesis to get rid of liters and liters of abdominal fluid, had a medical emergency every couple of months, and looked like hell. And that's just from the health perspective. Never mind what was going on in the family--with 3 of his 4 adult kids veering into alcoholism themselves to varying degrees. And never mind what was going on financially, with cars being totaled, money spent on booze, loss of income due to inability to work, it goes on and on. We all know the drill.
Well, a year ago September, my daughter got married, and he basically ruined her day. I won't go into the gory details, but let's just say he heckled her during her vows, refused to be in photographs, and only showed up at the reception to eat, hurl insults and leave.
A year ago next month he stopped drinking. He has lost 80 pounds, no longer goes for paracenteses, looks 20 years younger, has gone back to dressing himself with a degree of self-respect, is looking for a job, has returned to fixing things around the house, is pleasant and fun to be around.
Last June I was so amazed by a photo I had just taken showing him looking so dapper and happy and healthy, I texted it to my kids, and one son was so inspired he stopped drinking and he now has over 4 months of sobriety under his belt. The picture I texted of his father is now his iPhone screen saver--inspiring to stay sober every day. His other son consults with him on what it's like to stop drinking, and he's toeing the water with sobriety.
Kind of unrelated to my AH specifically, but another ripple in my life: my brother, another lifelong alcoholic, called me today to tell me that he is celebrating 6 months of sobriety. I asked him what helped him achieve that and he said that before he had no hope that he could stop drinking permanently and now he has that hope.
Miracles.
Someone who hasn't caught the ripple yet is my 3rd son, who unfortunately is on the despair side of the curve. Despite losing 3 jobs, 3 girlfriends, and being just about broke and losing all his former drinking buddies to sobriety, he refuses to make the connection between his plight and his drinking. I fear for him but must let go and let God.
This is just a gratitude thread. It hasn't come easy for sure and I don't want to give anyone here false hope. Alcoholism takes it ALL away and only by seemingly random touches of grace does Sobriety Enlightenment occur. I'm thankful that FOR TODAY, I have 3 members of my family who are choosing sanity over chaos.