last time
It was October 14, 2012 . I had been drinking every day for the past 3 and half years on what was my third relapse in 4 years. My body was beaten down from drowning it in whiskey every 12 hours. I was sitting at my desk in my dining room in my bathrobe staring at the computer screen. My hands shook fiercely as I typed something like, " I have not had a drink in 15 minutes.".and hit enter. To my surprise, a list of links appeared on my screen. There I saw a quote from someone who had typed the same sentence on a forum from a place called soberrecovery.com. I followed the link and found my salvation. For the next 2 weeks , I would stay in my bathrobe reading the posts from so many other people going through what I was going through. I stopped drinking. I was doing the impossible. I found comfort, support and most important, sobriety from the safety of my home. I use the word " safety" because I couldn't drive myself to an AA meeting or a counselor without stopping to buy a bottle. I stayed in my home and in my old bathrobe and opened myself up to an invisible community that offered healing to those who found themselves on their doorstep. I am very grateful to be able to say that I have not had a drink since that day. My anniversary is October 14. I do not have the words to describe how thankful I am. My life did not become a fairy tale. I had to learn to stop being a victim. I still struggle with " victimhood" and co - dependency. Those toxic states of being are addictive in themselves. I do not suffer from physical addictions anymore. Thank you Soberrecovery. I still remember the names of the people I met at this place. One of them is a facebook friend now! I am grateful for all of you.