Hi AnnaYes, drinking to the point of self destruction is an awful thing to make your kids watch.
My own father did it with me, you'd think I would have known better than do it to my own kids!
And this time I am just thinking, this is my life from now on. Live it without drink, the best way I can. No going back to using drink for anything.
It used to seem like a game, the last gazillion times I have given up drinking. I thought I was fully engaging in recovery. Read books on it, force myself to do things I didn't like, like meditation, do exercise that I didn't enjoy, eat all sorts of "recovery" foods, take on belief systems that I didn't believe in etcBut I never once just thought, I'm just going to get on with my life without ever drinking again.
Haven't explained it very well.
Yes it feels good to not have at least one of my children not speaking to me!
My other sons I see regularly as those are the fathers of my grandkids. But this son and my daughter live in different towns than me, so meeting up is a bit trickier
Thanks for your post Anna
