Originally Posted by dbyrer

I am so sorry you have had to go through this. It sounds like you have taken in a lot of good information and understand what you are dealing with. Your husband is absolutely right that he can not be a good husband at this time. And good for you that you understand that you cannot change him and must move on. It is so sad. That is addiction. You can wish him well from afar. Many of us, for some reason (or maybe for none!) are drawn to alcoholics. Not that they ARE alcoholics, but something in the personality clicks with ours and we feel immediately comfortable with them, finding ourselves in relationship after relationship with people who have the same problem. I realized this for myself in my mid-40's. I have been trying, with therapy, to figure that out and learn how to look for people to associate with who are in a more healthy place. Not sure if that helps you or if I went on a tangent there. Anyway, there is a lot of information and wisdom on this site. Welcome.