1. Why I am incapable of moderating? Until last night I hadn't had a drink from 1st June. You'd think I should be okay now?
You are confusing abstinence with control.
If all it took was a few months abstinence to make us into normal drinker,s all of us would do that and there'd be no need for SR or AA or any other method.
I have not taken a drink since 2007 but I know if I did nothing would have changed.
Like Carl suggested, accept you are an alcoholic, Jase and accept never, ever drinking again.
Then quit, and think about participating on an alcohol recovery program, or something more than you are doing - doctor counsellor, some kind of inpatient or outpatient rehab - because I would agree you can't seem to do this on your own?
D