GoldenDog, I think you handled the situation so well, getting everyone together and having a civil talk is a great start, but as you say, it's a process.
Yes, children of alcoholics have their own things to unwind, it's not always easy but it can be done. I really like the idea of introducing them to the literature.
While your Daughter may have seen the dynamic and know that it's far from healthy/good for anyone, it was her norm growing up so it probably doesn't seem all that insurmountable to her. Kind of like, if Dad could just curb being an ass when drinking, couldn't they work this out!?
Well no, you know that's not the case and so do I, but she may not be aware of it, yet. She may not realize that you can't - cannot - no way - have an actual great relationship (romantic or otherwise) with an alcoholic - period. If she did realize that, she wouldn't be suggesting counselling.
I agree with you and your Sisters, you are done with this. Yes, maybe the medications you are on are curbing some of the emotions for the moment, that doesn't mean it's not the right choice in fact maybe it allowed you to step back a bit and make these good decisions for yourself.
My Father was an alcoholic, I certainly never suggested counselling for my parents when my Mom told me she had moved out and was getting divorced, it seemed absolutely inevitable. Still, as an older teen, at that point, I didn't know about alcoholism and what it truly meant. I had always known my Father was an alcoholic and therefore drank too often and too much, but I didn't understand alcoholism and addiction. Sometimes people think because we witness it that we know about it, not really the case.
I also don't think it would be bashing to give them the facts, that he is an alcoholic, that it is his issue and there is nothing you can do about that, that the relationship is over and that you are finished living in an alcoholic household. Ask them to get informed about alcoholism, you may also want to refer your Daughter to an Al-Anon meeting so she can share her story and understand more.