earlybird,
.... omg. im speachless.
wow.
that is tough.
what i got from your post, the gist of what im hearing is that your mother has betrayed you at every turn to anyone who will listen. that is a tough one. youve also experienced verbal abuse, ridicule, hostility, disgust, and for all intents and purposes, hatred. i think maybe the worst thing to experience is betrayal by ones own mother. betrayal by anyone has got to be the worst feeling on the face of the earth. wow. i feel for you. theres no simple answer for this. i wish i could offer you something. all i can say, is that at some point we all experience betrayal, not everyone experiences it to quite this extent, but betrayal is a common theme in relationships. i dont know if that is any comfort to you... but i think betrayal is one of the hardest toughest most bitter pills to swallow. no one likes to be stabbed inthe back. no one wants to have a disloyal person up close and personal like that. i feel for you. ...but you sound like a real survivor to me. dont let the bastards getcha down. thats what i say.