Originally Posted by
freedomfries 
…Having some AV now, and thinking of borrowing money for "cigarettes" to buy vodka. This is supposed to be day 1 of my new life, it's very disappointing to have these thoughts.
freedomfries, I‘m not surprised that you are having those thoughts, given that earlier on you decided to drink. You seem to think that day 1 of your new life somehow owes you something, whereas we know it‘s the other way round. I also get the impression that you don‘t regret drinking that vodka at all. I think now is the time to seriously do something to get your head back in the right place again, else I think you‘re likely going to end belly up before you know it.
Why not have a honest talk with your parents and listen to what they have to say? They know after all that you have a problem and are trying to sober up.
I can see that you are an intelligent, polite and good natured person. Don‘t let that go to waste by just giving up now.
I‘m normally not one for tough love at all, but I say this to you because I‘ve been following your threads and wish for you to succeed.