You keep saying it went well - surely you can identify that as classic AV, FF?
it sounds like you’re suffering under the delusion you can at least sometimes control the outcome when you drink….that delusion sits there waiting to be used as rationalisation the next time you have the desire or opportunity to drink.
That can’t fit in with your stated aim of never drinking again.
Drinking alcohol, any amount, for an alcoholic is disastrous.
D